Flush-tered

Just an update on the potty training...
Since we have started potty training, we have had many messes - including the BIG one that occurred when I thought she was taking a nap, but instead she pooped in her Pull-Up, removed the 'Dapper' (as she calls it) and proceeded to throw/smear/spread her mess. Only a mother can look at that filth and think, "Hey, at least she wanted the diaper off when it was dirty - that is a step in the right direction." All the while I was sobbing, FeBreezing, and Cloroxing simultaneously.

Despite the many, many messes - what is it about your tiny offspring peeing and pooping in the toilet that makes you get a little teary eyed, dance like a fool, shower them in praise, and toss stickers like rappers throw money? It is those FEW moments I feel like I am on to something and our hard work has paid off.

Unfortunately though,  I am slowly realizing (and even more slowly admitting) that we may not be ready for potty training. When I mentioned the potty and she fell to her knees and cried, exhausted at the thought of sitting on the toilet again, it seems as if this is not her time. So I wasted a lot of time and energy for this transition/milestone just so some illiterate, illogical, immature being that has only been on this earth for 2 years could stop the whole process. I am getting shaken down by a diaper clad, 33 lb kid who smears her poop on the wall. Super. Apparently, I have a strong-willed kid that wants things on her terms. Awesome for her when she is in the board room refusing to give in, but not so easy when she is excusing herself from lunch table at McNabb Middle so her incompetent mother who works down the hall can change her diaper. Okay, okay - I know it won't get that bad and at the most I will probably be dealing with the diapers a just few more months. Man, this is tough.  You don't want to coddle your child and set the tone for some Veruca Salt-"but-daddy--I-want-an-Oompa-Loompa-now" spoiled brat, but I am not sure I want to screw her up forever over bowel movements to the point she puffs an inhaler every time she hears a toilet flush (I think Freud has a whole chapter about that). I have heard over and over again that you have to wait until the kid is ready, but I really wanted to believe that I could work some mommy magic and do this thing on my terms - not so much, not this battle.

So I'm backing off, waving the white Clorox wipe,and putting the potty timer away for now. In all honestly my sanity and Swifter need a break anyway.  Here is to trying a more "lax" approach.