I’m just a wife, mother, and high school teacher trying to hold it all together with a pair of Spanx & a tub of ice cream.

Chats with Charley

Friday, April 12, 2013
When asked to put on her shoes, my girl diverted her frustration and threw an epic tantrum all in teh name of Jesus. 




"I want to see all the worlds of Jesus." 


Sunday, April 7, 2013
While reading Charley's kid's Bible we came across a picture of Mary and Joseph.

C- That's Mary. She is Jesus's mommy.

M- Yup.

C- Who's that?

M- Charley, you know him. It's Joseph.

C- He married Mary? But I thought God was Jesus's daddy?
M- Well, ummmm. Yes,  that's right. God is his father. 

My mind INSTANTLY assumes this conversation is going to end up with me explaining immaculate conception or where babies come from. I glared up at God and warned him that if  this conversation went any further I could not be held responsible for the permanent damage to my child's understanding of procreation. 


C- Oh! I know. Joseph is the step-dad! Some people have two daddies! Jesus has two daddies. Right, Mommy?
M- You got it. 

Thank you, Lord! Nice save! 


Wednesday, April 3, 2013
C- Mom, how do you spell diva?

Me - What? Why diva?

C- I need to know.

So THIS is what she needs to learn the spelling of? Diva? Why do I feel as though this is an indicator of my failure as a parent, yet my success as an educator?



Thursday, September, 13, 2012
C-"After we nap we put our blankets in our cubbies. You know what that means!"

Me- What?

C- "It's time for the week-off!"

Me- You mean it's time for the weekend.

C- "Nope. It's the week-off, mommy. I said so."

She's going to be pissed when she finally understands the concept of time, but I like her optimism. 




Sunday, April 1, 2012
Last night Charley was caught trying to pet and kiss the TV screen when that Beiber kid appeared to accept his Kid's Choice Award. This is her rebuttal...








Sunday, January 15, 2012
Charley (clearly) trying to fart on her dad.

Me: Charley Anne. Quit that. You are going to poop your pants.

Charley: No I won't. I'm not wearing pants.

Me: Good point.

Ladylike, no. Logical, yes.


Saturday, January 7, 2012
Charley: Look at the moon, mommy. It's a full moon! Is it full because it ate the sun? Is that why it's full?

Multiple-meaning words. Precious.


Sunday, January 1, 2012
Gary: Charley want do you want to do better this year?

Charley: Ummm, ride da elvalator more at mommy's school. Look at this french fry!

It's important to have attainable goals.



Saturday, December 17th
"Look, mommy!" I drew a bra!"


Umm...Okay, but, why? 
"Because I want to."


Friday, December 16th

Charley is in trouble for opening a present under the tree.
Me: Charley, you broke a rule.
Charley: You broke my heart.



Thursday, December 15th

In the car with my parents.
Charley: I can't love you anymore.
Me: Charley! That is not nice. You are going to time out when we get to LuLu's. No TV.
Charley: Ummm. I was just talking to the window. (turns to window). Bad window. I don't love you window. Ow! The window hit me.
My parents laughing hysterically in the front seat.

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